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Today I upgraded the hard drive on my computer! I was quite proud of myself; I only had to text my “Tech Support” like ten times during the process. But it is done, and I did it myself. There was only one lonely screw left over at the end that I was not sure where it was supposed to have gone! The computer booted up just fine and all my programs and documents were there. Granted, the keyboard didn’t work, but since you are reading what I am typing here, I have obviously solved that problem.
My laptop had gotten slow, fussy and frustrating, so it needed some help. Apparently, the programs that I use on the computer do not work so well with the old style of drives. Today’s Microsoft Windows programs and operating system take up so much of a system’s resources that it taxes the older, slower drives. Older technology just can’t keep up with the demands of today’s computing needs. But, apparently by taking apart my computer, swapping out the old drive for a SSD, it should be ready for almost everything I can throw at it. Now, if I can just figure out how to get all my old pictures off of my iPhone and onto this new drive, I’ll be all set.
I think that “slow, fussy and frustrating” might be a good way to describe me right now, or at least me prior to my vacation. Over this past six months of dealing with the changes and challenges brought by Covid-19, I have sensed a need for something different. I need to change something. I am realizing that my “internal hard drive” – that which keeps me focused, connected, organized and alive – needs something more. My older patterns and practices just can’t keep up with the demands of today’s challenges. If you are anything like me, you have noticed yourself getting down a bit, too.
Unfortunately, when we realize that our own “drives” are not wired for the current situation, there is not an easy fix. We can’t just click a couple of buttons on Amazon.ca and have a new internal drive shipped our way. We have to discover new ways to care for our hearts, we have to re-engage a kind of spirituality that can meet the needs of today, and we need to rest and refresh our souls. We can’t replace our soul, so we need to learn how to tend to it.
The first step in this is realizing where we are and admitting that we are in need of change. David Benner reminds us that “Authentic spirituality grows out of emptiness not fullness.” We need to name that this has not been an easy time and we need to discover how we can engage God in the midst of this new way of life that we are living. Are we open to the new things that God wants to do in our lives and in our church? Are we open to the changes that will come and committed to engaging God throughout – even if we have to learn new things? Benner writes, “Spirituality that supports the human journey will always be rooted in a life that is open to the vitalizing and transformative breath of the Spirit and to the mysteries of life and faith. Spirituality that supports the human journey will always involve saying yes to this flow and consenting to participate in this great journey of becoming.”
Tending to our spiritual lives is what can give us the ability to engage with life. We need to explore what it is that we need. We have to try some new practices; we have to engage some new ways of thinking about church and about our faith life. We can do this. It is not going to be easy, but the community of the church can help us move through this as we rethink together about what God is doing. We don’t need a new hard drive; God has put the Holy Spirit inside of us already. We are given life – abundant, resurrection life – through this Spirit. Our minds, souls and hearts are transformed as we give the Holy Spirit room to do her work. The upgraded and updated system is already inside us, we just need to learn how to set it free.
